We have several pieces of good news: one, your father doesn’t own you; two, heteronormative marriage isn’t the law of the land anymo’; and three, you already know your future spouse is cute! Gah, what a time to be alive. You’ve met, you’re into it, and if you see each other an hour before the ceremony, it won’t ruin anything that you’ve created. So... first looks. We’re way into them, but let us explain the pros and cons so you can decide for yourself.

PRO: We can tell you from experience, your whole vibe shifts the second you see each other. Your pre-wedding nerves are calmed instantly. Seeing each other beforehand and being able to grab one another’s faces and remember that at the end of the day it’s just two people in lurve— that’s priceless, and side note, relaxed people look better in photos.


PRO: you get more time in natural light for photos of just the two of you. We love the pockets of time we get with you two on your own. Not only is it so good for your souls to be alone together to breathe deep before you say your vows, it helps us deliver more photos of you looking fly, i.e. more photos that your grandkids are gonna freak out about.


PRO: you can do the first look whenever you damn well please. Wanna do a first look and then spend two hours on a hike with the four of us? WE’RE DOWN. First look and then hop on a boat for a little while, pre-ceremony? YEP. We’ll include some scheduling math below to help you figure out when is best, but always remember that the day is yours to create.


PRO: if you wait until after a, let's say, 5 pm ceremony to officially start photos together, that means you’re trying to fit family photos, bridal party photos, couples photos, etc etc etc all during the time that your guests are waiting to party with you. And take all those photos without any natural light. And your family has potentially started drinking. Basically it’s more stress than you need.



CON: sometimes couples really want that moment when one of them appears at the end of the aisle. We so get that! Of course, as our friend Neil up there can tell you, having a first look doesn’t really mean you won’t still be a weepy mess when Your Person appears to your ceremony. 


CON: that’s the only con we can think of.

SO, once you’ve decided whether or not you wanna first look this thang, we can take it from there in terms of finding a location and getting you both to it (it’s the benefit of having both of us— we can text each other, set it all up, and you don’t have to worry about a thing). You just tell us if you have a spot in mind, and if not, we’ll handle it all!



TIMING:
The first look is a thing of beauty. If you want to travel to a new location to make it happen, let’s do it and incorporate travel time into your schedule. But even if you want to stick close to home, you can allot as much or as little time for the first look as you'd like. We can get a lot covered in just fifteen minutes and save more portrait time for the evening when the light is good, OR spend an hour tromping around and playing in some of your favorite spots before meeting up with family and friends. Every day is different, but if you plan on allowing roughly an hour total (minimum) throughout the day for portrait time in different scenes, we can handle the rest. 

Here’s how we recommend you do your future selves a huge solid: first, decide who you want in your formal portraits. Some people need huge extended families. Some people only want their nearest and dearest. Whatever it is, inform them that they should arrive at the photo site (ideally the ceremony venue, to prevent confusion) 20 minutes before we officially plan on portraits. There is always a straggler who holds up the show, and this will give them time to locate the venue and be ready. From there, we’ll organize the groups starting with the largest possible, and peel people off from there. In general, family goes first (because your grandma does not need to be standing around for 45 minutes wondering if she’s done yet), then bridal party. We’ll be shouting in the sweetest way possible. The faster we can get this done for you, the sooner everyone can chill.

Of course, often your schedule will be way different than this allows for. Like, you and your bridal party are all in the same place and have plenty of time to take bomb ass Vanity Fair photos before you head to the ceremony site, or what have you. GREAT. Bridal party is generally way easier to wrangle than families, so take this schedule suggestion with a grain of salt, because like we said… your wedding will be the only one of its kind.


TIMING:
We move quickly and make family photos as painless as possible. Normally we don’t need more than 30-40 minutes (and more often less), but if you have lots of family combos, please let us know so we can give you a better timing estimate!

Other things to consider:
 
- Occasionally, we will get a list of every possible combination of family members under the sun. This is often one of the only times that family is all gathered and looking fly. We're here to get you every family photo you could dream of, so never apologize for asking for more combos or adding more groupings. WE ARE HERE FOR YOU. 

- That being said: choose your groupings thoughtfully, as well. from experience, when photos get started you will not care at ALL if you have “mom, dad, and nephew. mom, dad, nephew and niece. mom, dad and niece.” When combinations get super repetitive, people get antsy and you will be ready to move on to other parts of your day. It is extremely rare that you will later actually want every random permutation of groupings that The Knot told you to ask for (sometimes we wonder if people at The Knot have ever even been to a wedding in real life). Not to mention, kids get antsy, uncles get distracted, and you will get frustrated. Trust, child. We’ve seen it all. Keep your family combos intentional and everyone will thank you.)

- During group photos, friends and family will reeeeally want to take cell phone pics. We’re going to insist on using clout at this point and tell people “the soon-to-be-newlyweds request no photography during formal portraits.” Large groups of people get distracted by multiple lenses, and there is nothing worse than getting your family photo back where everyone is looking in multiple directions. Plus, this leaves everyone free to weep openly at how good you look and how in love you are.

ceremony.

04


There’s a reason you decided not to elope, even though we know you thought about it, because who hasn’t? Having a ceremony- no matter the size- to commit yourselves to one another with the people you love the most in the world there to witness it… there’s something so transformative about it. The clear sense that your community is surrounding and supporting you as you embark on this new thing together is powerful and unforgettable and the reason people keep having weddings despite the stress of it all. It’s honestly incredible.

So, is it obvious yet that we think ceremonies are underrated? When couples are thoughtful and creative about their ceremony, it brings the entire wedding to a new level. We’ve always marveled at how most people spend so much time and energy pulling the reception together, and rush through the poor little ceremony without much thought to what’s actually happening it—what they’re saying to each other, who is included, who is marrying them, how guests are interacting with the whole thing—it’s the crux of the whole day. Without it, you’d just be throwing a really great party. So we’re begging you to be extra thoughtful about this part! Spend time and heart on your ceremony. What do you want your wedding to express to people? How do you want your coupleship to be represented? How do you want to take care of each other and the people who are supporting you? This stuff is the very core of your day.



TIMING: You do you. This is no time to squeeze the schedule. Let the ceremony own the day.

Other things to consider: 


- who is marrying you? Do you trust them to strike the right balance of gravity and levity? Do you feel that they see your true selves, as a couple and as individuals? Have you met with them to discuss the larger concepts and ideas you want represented at your wedding?


- Your vows: do they represent you and the promises you want to make, or are you repeating words that you don’t connect with? We didn’t feel ready to write our own vows from scratch (they always seemed either unnecessarily lighthearted or ridiculously heavy-handed when we tried to scribble them down), but we also thought that people tended to tune out the normal “til death do us part” vows because we all hear them so often. So we created our own happy medium: we researched ancient vows that Irish Christians said in the 2nd century, talking about things like devotion and partnership and growth and “walking by each other always.” We felt like we were joining a historic club but were still connected very personally to our vows. Whatever your religious or non-religious views may be, pledging yourself to another human is a big deal. Don’t take it lightly.


- and on a lighter note: HAVE AN UNPLUGGED CEREMONY. People don’t need grainy cell phone shots of your vows, they need to be present, and encouraging them to do so is liberating. Once upon a time, as the married-couple-to-be walked down the aisle, they saw the many smiling (and maybe crying) faces of their nearest and dearest. Now, they mostly just see the backs of cell phones and they lose the connection with all those teary eyeballs. 


As we planned our own wedding, we found that our stress kicked in BIG TIME as we tried to wrangle all the inconsequential little details of the food, music, flowers, the list just keeps going doesn’t it? But as soon as we stepped back to talk quietly and in depth about the heart of the wedding, the stress turned into a peaceful sense of gratitude and joy. Joy at having found each other, at being able to love and serve the community who stood behind us, at being able to express in entirely our own way exactly what this whole thing meant to us. Take the time to thoughtfully plan out your ceremony and go beyond surface-level and your wedding will become that much more meaningful for you and everyone involved.

cocktail
hour.

06

Y’all are married, and it’s time to get down.
 You’ve got champagne in one hand and your new ring on the other. The two of us have run off to capture all the tiny details you’ve put so much thought into, and you can start mingling like the carefree newlyweds you are. We wanna be ready for everything, so if you don’t have a DJ, let us know who will be MCing the evening so we can become best friends with them and stay in the loop on announcements before they happen (we don’t want to be like the lady who won an Oscar while she was in the bathroom).

To borrow a phrase from the Bachelor, “Can we steal you for a minute?” Post-ceremony, your spirit is light. Your face is relaxed. The mood goes from one of light stress to giddy elation that this whole wedding thing is really happening! This is our favorite time to capture a few shots of you two—the first of your married life—before you head off to the cocktail hour. Plus, the light is usually pre-tty bomb by this point in the evening.

It’s really important to us that you don’t miss out on any part of your big day, and we highly recommend splitting your couple portraits into multiple sections to allow for unique light and backdrops and to make sure you don’t miss a single thing.

We’d love to nab you for fifteen minutes now and fifteen more minutes at the end of the last light of day (yep, we’ll be looking up the exact sunset times on your wedding day). Of course, more time for photos with you is always amazing— but we want you to enjoy your dance party too, duh. Long story short, we’ll be in active communication with you and your DJ or MC or whoever is running the show to make sure you eat, party, dance, talk to everyone—and still have time for photos.

dinner 
and
toasts.

07

This is when the stories about how you pooped in the bathtub as a toddler start happening.

So here’s how dinner goes down: we specifically don’t shoot while people are getting food and eating it, because no one likes to be photographed chewing (and those group table shots like you get on a shitty cruise ship? Where in the sam hill are those ever going to see the light of day ever again?). We’ll capture toasts and prep a little surprise for you. 

An important little side note on dinner hour: we aren’t trying to be Greedy Gusses when we say that we prefer to eat first, ie right around when you get your food and before the rest of the guests get their food. This is purely because if we ate after everyone else, we’d miss important things! If we get twenty minutes to eat at the beginning of dinner hour, we can be back out on the floor and ready to capture toasts, speeches, first dances, all of it. Getting back to shooting as soon as humanly possible is our ultimate goal, so eating first and quickly makes that way easier on everyone. We’ve learned this the hard way at our first few weddings!

Lastly, dinner often overlaps with sunset, and if we can whisk you away for another fifteen minutes (after you eat and before the toasts), it’s so dreamy. We’ll pick a lull in the dinner hour, check in with the MC to make sure nothing’s coming up, and sneak you out for some golden hour photos. You won’t miss a thing, promise.

reception.

08

It’s all over but the shouting, and ending your wedding with an epic party that’s 100% yours—your music, your people, your day—is so damn much fun.

Some couples want a quiet, classy dinner party, European style, extending late into the night and with wine flowing. Some want to get the Fireball out ASAP and get on that dance floor. Whatever your personal style is, we are ABOUT IT. Everyone parties a little differently, and the reception is a great time to make your wedding completely your own. Whatever you choose, we’ll be right in the middle of it, capturing the shots that you’ll get back in a month and be like “WHAT, I didn’t even see half of this crazy shit happening!” Uhhh, we did! Booyah.

 We’ve been known to take a celebratory shot with our couples. And from there, we’re a part of this thang, baby. Our goal is to capture the spirit and flow of your wedding day so your photos feel genuine. 

And a closing note on the party photos: we’ve heard that some wedding photographers refuse to drink or dance at weddings, and to that we say, why the hell not?! We’ve found that those crazy-ass party shots don’t happen unless we’re partying alongside you guys and in the same spirit (ok, we aren’t partying quite as hard because we’re gonna leave sober, which is more than your college besty can say). But Tim’s a repeat-offender pants ripper, if that tells you anything about his willingness to do the jump-splits on the middle of the dance floor. Long story short—the good photos happen when your guests don’t feel like we’re the awkward noobs on the side of the dance floor, ya dig? Cool.
TIMING: If you're at the end of your hours but the party is still raging and you want us to stick around, we can add hours on, no problem. Normally we can get the essence of the party shots in about 30-45 minutes, unless you have an exit planned!

departure.

09

In the immortal words of Kanye, you’re outta here, babies.
And man did that all happen fast.

If you’re doing a special departure—sparklers, a conga line, being carried out on the shoulders of your adoring fans—let us know so we can be fully prepped for it! If you’re planning on ghosting your own wedding, we will also quietly slip out at our discretion. When it comes to figuring out your coverage, keep in mind that the last hour or two of a dance party can be a bit messy if you catch our Tokyo Drift. If you aren’t doing a big exit, we will shoot until we got every dang thing and slip out when we know we’re set. Take it from good experience: that last shot of tequila’s after-effects shouldn’t always be documented. We keep a sharp eye out for when things start going downhill, and save your guests having to wade through dozens of too-tipsy photos that they hope no one will ever see. Trust that we’ll capture everything, you’ll have more than enough dancing shots, and we’ll only leave when it’s time to leave. If you’re doing an exit, please let us know what time you’ll be heading out so we can be ready to go! Otherwise, we’ll quietly be on our way when the time is right.

the
honeymoon
phase.

10

In our humble opinions, it should last for about 50-60 years or so.

You two go and be newlyweds—we’ll have your full photo set ready in time for your one month anniversary!

 Now that you have an idea of how we approach a wedding day, fill us in on your thoughts! We LOVE when couples make their schedule a totally unique creation, include us in the planning, ask us questions. Use this guide as a rough sketch of how a lot of weddings go, but take it with a grain of salt if it doesn’t fit you. The best weddings go their own way, and we’re more excited if you make your own dream happen than following a proscribed schedule. Go fill out your North Star questionnaire by clicking on the email this arrived in, and in the meantime, go boldly forth and plan the wedding of your dreams. We are so honored to be a part of it.

with love,
Laura & Tim

PS. PLEASE SEND US AN INVITATION TOO!
SULLIVAN & SULLIVAN PHOTOGRAPHY

4842 35th Ave SW
Seattle, WA 98126